We're facebook friends in real life
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
