I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
