yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
