Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
and she was petting her beer can
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
