it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize