Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
