We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
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Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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