Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.