Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?

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(602): View more from Arizona

if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy

(1-602): View more from Arizona

amen to that sister

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal

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(530): View more from California

I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.

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(585): View more from New York

Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...

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(210): View more from Texas

just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.

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