Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Did you go home with that guy without me?

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car

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  (919): Did you go home with that guy without me? (479): Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car http://tfl.nu/ua1d
  Replies (8) Good night (1263) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.

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  (916): How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids. (1-916): Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions. http://tfl.nu/28ax
  Replies (27) Good night (4086) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.

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  (248): I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial. http://tfl.nu/t70i
  Replies (12) Good night (7286) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed

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  (630): slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed http://tfl.nu/wcfq
  Replies (26) Good night (4486) Bad night (1387)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.

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  (713): She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing. http://tfl.nu/4ei8
  Replies (7) Good night (2802) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.

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  (610): we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again. http://tfl.nu/goom
  Replies (6) Good night (3341) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all

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  (618): Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all http://tfl.nu/t0uz
  Replies (11) Good night (3266) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.

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  (619): It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/0yym
  Replies (7) Good night (3488) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"

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  (619): We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober" http://tfl.nu/gqaj
  Replies (9) Good night (7430) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?

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  (575): Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night? http://tfl.nu/drd1
  Replies (9) Good night (3408) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video

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  (573): It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video http://tfl.nu/x1wo
  Replies (9) Good night (1491) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.

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  (610): Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours. http://tfl.nu/ytnd
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated

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  (973): You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated http://tfl.nu/yaej
  Replies (6) Good night (1206) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning

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  (434): Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning http://tfl.nu/g13p
  Replies (4) Good night (1145) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...

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  (682): You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos... http://tfl.nu/4ekg
  Replies (0) Good night (605) Bad night (261)

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