i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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