is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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