Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
