Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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