I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
