You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
