How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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