I can tuck mytits in my pants
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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