I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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