Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
