hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
