Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
