You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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