Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
