It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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