Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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