Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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