I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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