You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
