I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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