dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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