This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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