wrigley field is MILF paradise
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
