thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize