I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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