sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We're too hungover to prance.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
