her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
