stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Found your dick twin last night
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I believe in your delicious
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
