My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
