i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
