That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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