god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
