I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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