She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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