yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
