they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
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So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
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Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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