I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
