Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
