Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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