I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
