I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
