I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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