I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
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I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
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What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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