addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
