how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
