Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
splinters make it hard to masturbate
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
