dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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