I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
