can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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