worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
