I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
