im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
