Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
