oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Holy sore nipples Batman
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
