Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so let's talk penis.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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