i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
