I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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