Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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