Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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